My personal inquiries

I never imagined myself in a journalism class before. I never aimed at being a professional journalist, at least not the kind

you see in the image above; that mans looks brave, timely, he looks ready to take on the world and at a moment's notice it

seems like he could follow the wind wherever it took him to his next lead. I remember watching old black and white classic

movies where journalists were pencil chewing, fast talking hardballs who didn't have the time to spare for anyone. I never, ever

wanted to end up personifying those characteristics. But here comes the sharp turn: I just finished Tilley's section in Clark's

book, yes I admit I'm still catching up on my reading and I'm not even sure if its the right edition but and after reading her

concerns about herself as a writer and as a human being I realized that they reflected my own discomforts, wishes and

personal battles in my relationship to the world. When Tilley said that she understood how exactly her articles will not revamp

the world, how it was unrealistic for society to truly change so dramatically I was finally glad that someone and a journalist no

less was honest.

After taking Foundations of Journalism it felt like we were handed the weight of the world. There was so much talk about

democracy, upholding truth and giving the nation a sphere to conduct free speech. I believe in the concept of these ideas but

in reality, riots are squashed too quickly by the same authority who ironically claim to honor free speech, billions of people live

everyday turning a blind eye to injustice, the mentally ill are left to die and the person who was shocked from the morning's

headlines about a man suffering from a hit and run accident rarely ever rile the compassion to visit the stranger in the

hospital. I am of course guilty of these things. But Tilley was right for not expecting a sea of change to occur, and I appreciated

her honesty but in reading her six piece series I realized how rumbles of change could occur. For one thing she gave us an

insight into Dix Hill that was expectedly depressing but surprisingly hopeful. I think it's lovely that reporting coupled with

writing touched with a dose of compassion can tear down mental walls between society and those deemed unsociable.

This class is really hard. I never was asked to go up to strangers and milk reactions out of them. I emailed Professor HC

few weeks ago about my shyness to go up to strangers and to "bother" them. I had always liked observing people but slipping

into a pocket of their life was foreign to me. The first assignment was frustrating because I kept interviewing people who

would make excuses to avoid talking to me. Either they didn't speak enough English or "it was their boss I should be talking

to", I would just stand there overwhelmed with having to find another person to talk to because the previous way brushed me

off. But I'm getting over being scared and I realize that with interviewing you need to be quick and catch your person when

he/she is talking about something that matters to them. Sometimes it's when someone starts using hand gestures and gets

really heated, other times a person's octaves run low and quiet and the emotion of the person is indicative of how the topic

really hit home.

My other difficulty is organization. I've done 2 or 3 stories so far and my notebook is almost 3/4 packed with chicken

scrawl. They're written down chronologically so when I go back to find an idea for an assignment I have to comb through every

word to see who said which quote, how many tables were in the room at the time, what kind of lighting was there, what the

mood of the speaker was etc. It's hard when more than one speaker is talking or you have to figure out how to section off idea

categories. This spiral pattern or turning here to find a tidbit and turning there to locate a name is driving me insane.